One way to peacefully resolve conflict is for each side
- to come together voluntarily
- to work cooperatively on the issues
- under the guidance of a trained facilitator
Conflict resolution should be a voluntary process that
- reflects the school's values if applied throughout the school
- is also modeled and followed by teachers, administrators, and staff
- will fail if perceived as a process for students only
The following process should be under the guidance of a trained facilitator.
Bring your conflicted parties together in a private location, and:
- Gather information: identify key issues without making accusations
- Focus on what the issues are, not who
did what
- Avoid accusations, finding fault, calling names
Case study:: conflict resolution
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Each party
- states their position and how it has
affected them;
others listen attentively and respectfully without interruption
- in turn repeats or describes as best they can
the other's position to the listener's satisfaction
(c.f.
Franklin Covey's fifth habit "Seek first to understand, then
to be understood")
- tries to view the issue from other points of view beside the two
conflicting ones
- brain storms to find the middle ground, a point of balance,
creative solutions, etc.
- volunteers what he or she can do to resolve the conflict or
solve the problem
Then:
- A formal agreement is drawn with agreed-upon actions for both parties;
- A procedure is identified should disagreement arise
- Progress is monitored
- Progress rewarded or celebrated
Each party in collaborative conflict resolution
should feel empowered to speak their mind, feel listened to, and feel they are
a critical part of the solution. So also, each is obligated to respect and
listen to others, try to understand their point of view; and actively work toward
a mutual decision.
If the conflict cannot be resolved in this manner,
mediation by a third, neutral party (as in peer mediation); or
arbitration (enforced resolution by a neutral authority) are options
Education is an excellent setting
to learn problem solving and conflict resolution strategies. Whether the conflict
is a classroom real-life simulation exercise or an on-going emotional experience,
learning ways to resolve issues and collaboratively work through responses and
solutions will teach you skills that can be applied in other settings. It
can help you:
- accept differences
- recognize mutual interests
- improve persuasion skills
- improve listening skills
- break the re-active cycle or routine
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- learn to disagree without animosity
- build confidence in recognizing win-win solutions
- recognize/admit to/process anger and other emotions
- solve problems!
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Adapted with permission from "Conflict Resolution
Training Manual,"
Friends School of
Minnesota, June 2002.
See also:
Conflict
Negotiation: Skills Checklist Umbreit, M.S. 1995. Conflict Negotiation:
Skills Checklist. St. Paul, MN:
Center for Restorative Justice & Peacemaking,
University of Minnesota.
Deutsch, Morton & Coleman, Peter T.,
Handbook of Conflict Resolution: Theory and Practice,
April 2000, Jossey-Bass
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