Knowing the right things to say to a friend who’s homesick at college can feel like a daunting task.
You want to offer comfort, but you don’t want to say the wrong thing and make them feel worse.
This is a common scenario and many of us have been there, so first know that you’re not alone in this.
If your friend is feeling homesick, it means they’re missing the familiarity and comfort of home while they’re away at college.
This is completely normal, especially for those who are living away from home for the first time.
It can be an overwhelming experience, but with the right support, they can get through it.
To help you navigate this situation, I’ve compiled a list of 8 heartfelt and supportive messages to help ease their transition.
1. “It’s okay to feel this way—it’s normal.”
One of the most important things to remind someone who’s homesick is that their feelings are valid.
Let them know it’s completely normal to feel this way, especially when starting such a big chapter in life.
Being away from home for the first time is tough for many students.
Why it helps: According to Dr. Tamar Chansky, normalizing these emotions can ease the guilt or frustration they may feel. Simply acknowledging that homesickness is a universal experience makes them feel less alone in their struggles.
2. “You’re stronger than you think”
The second phrase to say to a homesick friend at college is, “You’re stronger than you think”.
This phrase serves as a reminder of their inner resilience and ability to handle tough situations.
Often, when we’re in the midst of feeling overwhelmed or distressed, we underestimate our own strength and capacity to cope.
This phrase can serve as a gentle reminder of their own resilience, which they might have momentarily forgotten amid their homesickness.
Why it helps: While it’s important to validate their feelings, it’s equally important to remind them of their strength and ability to overcome difficult situations. This helps in fostering a sense of self-belief and confidence in them as they navigate through this challenging phase.
3. “Take it one day at a time.”
When you’re homesick, the thought of months away from home can feel overwhelming.
Encourage them to focus on getting through one day at a time instead of thinking too far ahead.
Remind them that every day they’ll become a bit more comfortable with their new environment.
Why it helps: Breaking the adjustment into manageable steps can reduce anxiety. This message shifts the focus from the overwhelming big picture to smaller, achievable goals.
4. “What’s something new you’ve discovered that you enjoy?”
Shifting the conversation to something positive can help them see the good in their new situation.
Ask them what activities, classes, or places they’ve come across that they’re starting to enjoy.
Even small victories, like finding a great study spot or enjoying a meal at the dining hall, can shift their perspective.
Why it helps: Homesickness often narrows focus to what’s missing. By encouraging them to find new joys, you help them realize that there are positive aspects of their new life waiting to be discovered.
5. “I’m always here for you, no matter how far.”
Sometimes the biggest comfort is knowing that people who care about them haven’t gone anywhere.
Let your friend or family member know that, despite the physical distance, your relationship remains strong.
Whether they need to vent, talk about their day, or just hear a familiar voice, you’re always available.
Why it helps: As Two Peds in a Pod notes, staying connected with loved ones can help ease homesickness without encouraging dependence. Letting them know they can reach out whenever they need helps create a comforting lifeline.
6. “How about scheduling regular calls or video chats?”
Suggesting scheduled calls or video chats can create something for them to look forward to.
Establishing a routine connection, even if it’s just a short call each week, can help them feel more grounded and connected to home.
Why it helps: Regular communication can prevent feelings of isolation from deepening. Knowing they’ll have dedicated time to catch up can also prevent over-reliance on impromptu, homesick-driven conversations.
7. “Homesickness doesn’t last forever—it will get better.”
Reassure them that homesickness tends to fade as they get more settled into their new environment.
While it feels intense now, remind them that these feelings will pass and that they’ll soon find their rhythm.
Why it helps: Offering hope and the reminder that homesickness is usually temporary can be reassuring. According to experts, as students develop new friendships and routines, the intensity of homesickness often diminishes.
8. “Is there a way you can bring a bit of ‘home’ with you?”
Encourage them to find ways to make their college space feel more like home.
Whether it’s cooking a favorite meal, decorating their dorm with photos of loved ones, or continuing a familiar routine, small reminders of home can be comforting.
Why it helps: Bringing aspects of home into their new environment can help ease the transition. Creating a familiar atmosphere in a new place makes it feel less foreign and more welcoming.
9. “This is a chance for you to grow, and I’m proud of you.”
Sometimes, homesick students need to be reminded of how far they’ve come and the courage it takes to step out of their comfort zone.
Acknowledge their bravery and the personal growth that comes with navigating this new chapter.
Why it helps: Focusing on their personal strength and growth shifts the narrative from feeling overwhelmed to one of empowerment. Let them know you admire their resilience and that, with time, they’ll look back on this experience as one that made them stronger.
10. “It’s okay to seek professional help”
The final phrase to consider is, “It’s okay to seek professional help”.
While friends and family can provide a great deal of support, sometimes it can be beneficial to talk to a counselor or therapist who is trained to help people navigate feelings of homesickness and other emotional challenges.
Encouraging your friend to seek professional help if their homesickness becomes overwhelming or persistent is not a sign of weakness.
Rather, it’s a proactive step towards managing their emotional wellbeing, and it can provide them with additional coping strategies and resources.
Why it helps: This advice ensures that your friend knows there are resources available to them if they need them. It’s a gentle reminder that they don’t have to navigate this challenging time alone.
Is homesickness common among college students?
Homesickness is incredibly common, especially among first-year college students.
Leaving the comfort and familiarity of home can lead to feelings of sadness, loneliness, or anxiety as students adjust to new environments, routines, and responsibilities.
Studies suggest that between 50-70% of students experience homesickness at some point during their time at college.
How long does homesickness usually last?
Homesickness can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, depending on the individual and their ability to adjust to their new surroundings.
For many students, the intensity of homesickness decreases as they establish routines, make friends, and start to feel more comfortable in their new environment.
In most cases, feelings of homesickness fade by the end of the first semester, though some students may continue to experience it throughout the school year.
What are some common signs of homesickness?
Common signs of homesickness include:
- Feeling sad, anxious, or lonely.
- Difficulty concentrating or focusing on schoolwork.
- Lack of interest in social activities or making new friends.
- Constantly thinking about home or missing family and friends.
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, or difficulty sleeping.
Should you encourage someone to visit home frequently if they’re homesick?
While it may be tempting to suggest frequent visits home to alleviate homesickness, this may actually prolong the adjustment process.
It’s important for students to immerse themselves in their new environment and build a sense of independence.
Instead of frequent trips home, encourage them to explore their campus, join clubs, or meet new friends to create a support network away from home.
Can homesickness affect academic performance?
Homesickness can affect academic performance, especially if it leads to anxiety, depression, or difficulty focusing.
When students are emotionally overwhelmed, they may struggle to keep up with their studies or miss classes.
It’s important for homesick students to seek help early on—whether from a counselor, academic advisor, or support group—to prevent their feelings from negatively impacting their schoolwork.
Should you be worried if homesickness persists for a long time?
If homesickness persists beyond a few months or is accompanied by significant anxiety, depression, or difficulty functioning, it may be time to seek professional help.
Many colleges offer mental health services through their counseling centers, where students can talk to trained professionals about their feelings.
It’s important not to dismiss prolonged homesickness, as it could indicate deeper emotional or adjustment challenges.
Wrapping up
Being homesick is tough, but hearing words of support from someone who understands can make a world of difference.
Whether it’s acknowledging their feelings, helping them see the positives in their new situation, or reminding them of their inner strength, these comforting messages offer reassurance that they’re not alone in their journey.
At the core of these messages is empathy and understanding.
Homesickness is a universal feeling, but with the right support, it’s one that fades as students begin to build new connections and experiences.
Just remember to be patient and continue offering love and encouragement as they navigate this transitional time.